What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why are Capri cigarettes so expensive?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Is a man who enjoys anal sex considered a sissy? For those who think so, why can't they be thought of as someone who enjoys a variety of sexual pleasure?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How does one succeed in life?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Texas public health departments brace for another $119 million in federal cuts - The Texas Tribune

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why does monistat lose effectiveness over time for individuals with chronic or recurrent vaginosis or yeast infections?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why don’t people want the American Dream anymore - marriage, kids, a dog, and the white picket fence?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why does my best friend call me ugly and act like she’s joking, but today she looked at me and said “I wouldn’t lie to you”? What should I say back to her?

TEXT:

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

With so much evidence supporting the flat Earth theory, why aren't more resources dedicated to studying it?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!